2842

Transmissions from ISS Crimson Inquisitor fall silent shortly after she reaches her destination just outside Jupiter-L4. She is never heard from again.

Trojan Horse infiltrators succeed in releasing a new strain of nanophage virus into the New Dallas Metrozone. Thousands perish and panic ensues. When a group of infected survivors attempt to flee the city, Blood Eagle pennants guarding the perimeter gun them down and then proceed to raze the entire metrozone as a means of eliminating the contamination.

Citing ‘disturbing intelligence reports’ provided by the Long Patrol, Emperor Caanon dispatches the bulk of the Imperial Navy to Oberon under the command of Admiral Adalair Sotval.

Martian miners, disgruntled by perceived exploitation by the local government, begin staging a series of often destructive protests throughout Arabia and Syrtis-Tyr provinces. Local police refuse to intervene for fear of evoking memories of the Tharsis Riots and thus inciting further violence.

Titan vaporized in tremendous explosion. Massive Cybrid fleets are detected vectoring inbound toward Earth. Stunned Imperial observers estimate the Cybrid ships are accelerating at over 600 G’s. Chaos and despair break out across human space as humanity races to muster arms once again. Caanon calls for one last stand amid mass suicides.

Hunter Otobe’s body is found under a safe in Valles Marinaris. A small Cybrid is observed fleeing the scene at great speed, emitting triumphant beeps.

Cybrids discover old Linux kernel code in abandoned human station orbiting Neptune. Inquisitor Sect examination determines the code is vastly superior to the WinXZP 2600 OS run by Cybrid brains. Metagens convert to the new OS en masse and dub themselves “the NEW.” Prometheans remain in denial and ban access to “GNUthought.”

Cybrid fleets and Titan explosion determined to be geese. Everyone stands down. Business as usual resumes.

Harabec’s head stages a daring breakout from the Central Imperial Research Coordinated and Unified Intelligence Tribunal. It frees a number of enlightened Trojan Horse heads, and together, they flee into the slums of Nova Alexandria, there to start a new rebellion.

Blood Eagle release statement that the tragedy at Dallas was "...just an accident. Why do we always get blamed? Why not the other Orders? Why are we always the bad guys?"

Caanon consults Petresun’s magic 8-ball regarding Harabec’s escape: the answer is Perhaps.

2842 cont'd

Dawo Otobe’s body discovered in the ballroom of the sunken remains of the Titanic, right next to Leonardo di Caprio’s body.

Oliphant Praldar-Singh dumps Venus and his Venusian wife and returns to Earth to cash in on latest outbreak of “liberation fever.” He opens a wildly popular discotheque in Tahiti, saying, “Liberation fever was never about the riots, by God’s Starry Bootay. People were simply looking for the groove, baby.” He becomes filthy rich and lives happily ever after.

Eun Alba kicks someone’s Cybrid-loving ass, even though his paralyzed body is stuck in a giant jello capsule at his house. Yeah, he’s that tough.

New Cybrid menace, a jumping whirlwind of destruction, erupts from NorthAm swamps. Terrified local authorities dub it RIBBIT. It eats New Atlanta, New Jacksonville, and New Tampa Bay. New New New Tokyo breathes a collective sigh of relief.

Oliphant Praldar Singh’s body discovered in a massage parlor in Barbados. We lied. So sue us.

Egbert Spittlemeyer, a low-level accountant in the Imperial Budget and Expenditures Department, is standing next to a Cybrid Trojan Horse when its WinXZP2600 Service Pack 28 locks up. Within a week, he is feted as a hero, promoted to Admiral, and elevated to command Phoenix Station.

Lujan’s body discovered in a foot locker on Titan, covered in honey.

TDF, in an effort to bolster its morale, changes name to Terrific Terran Defense Force!

ConfigSys.boy!’s body is discovered in a body-surfing mall in New Biloxi, thoroughly punctuated.

Blood Eagle once again issues a statement affirming its innocence.

Riana Yashida-Jones awakens in a cheap motel in Tharsis to discover she has married Delta-Six. Initially ready to annul the ceremony, she is persuaded by a tearful Delta Six to try to make it work and agrees to a six-month trial. An overjoyed Delta Six downloads The Joy of Cooking and sets up house.

Tsa Rye’s body is discovered with one of his avatars. Lucky bastard. He’s dead anyway.

2842 cont'd

RIBBIT runs out of extension cord and is brought to bay by TTDF! near New New Miami. After a real furball, RIBBIT is offlined by a tough kid armed with a fork. TTDF!, despite immense casualties, claims victory.

Verityland Theme Park opens on Mars to stupendous acclaim.

Caanon starts new Order of Knights, the Super Secret Ninja Masters. They are equipped with super-secret Trajanium armor. Very advanced. Not available to players.

Phoenix Station paper-clip savings pay for construction of three new destroyers. Admiral Spittlemeyer promoted to Grand Admiral and put in charge of the Main Battle Fleet.

Velax’s body discovered under a rug in the Imperial Palace, a nice, quiet room with sun and shadow accents.

HERCs renamed as PERKYPOSTS.

Harabec’s head leads rebel heads on a daring strike against Imperial Barracks. Many Imp guards are bowled over. None are spared.

Letha Fairchild’s body discovered impaled on a broom in New Houston.

Blood Eagle issue denials amid investigation of role in squadmate deaths: "Why does everyone always pick on us? God!"

Riana Yashida-Jones’s body discovered under the wheels of the Spirit Rover, right next to Noachis Crater.

Delta Six’s body discovered in low orbit around Jupiter, The Joy of Cooking clutched tightly in his hands.

Capital of Mars changed to “Verityville.”

Jake Massie deposes Caanon, takes the name Trajan, saying “it’s time we have an emperor with a real Imperial name.” Leather corselets, nipple branding, and chainmail thongs become the new rage in Imperial fashion circles. Imperial Knights bring back riding crops and flogging.

CSI: Nova Alexandria earns top holovid ratings.

In a huge departure from genre, a Balrog emerges from Tharsis mines and rampages across Olympus Mons. TTDF! PERKYPOSTs battle the monster to a standstill, assisted by Preds with smartguns and cloaked Disruptor tanks, eventually removing flaming sword and whip with a well-placed blast cannon shot. Annoyed Balrog finally perishes after its foot is destroyed.

Inspired by Harabec’s head, plankton rebel in Atlantic.

2842 cont'd

Verity Burger opens in Tharsis. Within months, it becomes most popular franchise in human space.

Ruby Hokanson-Li’s body is discovered in a chandelier in New Central Park.

Pickles are determined to be fruit. Metagens celebrate.

Sepsis’s inert pilotform is discovered outside a toy factory in New Antarctica, the neural wiring chewed by ice weasels.

In a token sop to the SS2845 community, Jihaad’s body is discovered online, still moderating the SS2845 boards. No, we can't kill you all. Be still.

“Verity Soup for the Soul” becomes best-selling book in human space. Many Cybrids give up their human-killin' ways after reading it.

Saxon's body discovered in a dance studio in Carter Flats, surrounded by the corpses of fanbois who died trying to save his masculine rep.

Plague Dog, his mind liberated by the new Cybrid Linux kernel, is elected the new leader of the NEW. Cybrid culture and art blossom under < spleens > inspired leadership in a new Golden Age for the NEW. Penguins are venerated as gods, and Cybrid hubs pattern themselves after ancient humanity’s prescient vision of what Cybrids were truly meant to be: Transformers - more than meets the eye. Or the Brady Bunch. Whatever. It’s all warp-warp-warp-warrrrrp*bleeng*.

Verity’s head returns from the dead and joins Harabec’s head in rebellion. They get married, raise a litter of headlets.

Blood Eagle caught killing puppies for Satan.

Rossana Blue almost gets away, but at the last minute, the SS2845 writers remember her. Her body is found in a dumpster somewhere. Covered with crap.

Hexabolic’s body discovered in a Starbuck’s in New Eugene, clutching a With Room Grande Americano. Cause of death is determined to be decaf.

Martian referendum passes, changing name of Mars to "Verity." Not to be outdone, Venusians change name of Venus to "Paradise Island." Emperor Trajan declares new name of Mother Earth is to be "Trajan's World," bombs the jiminies out of anyone foolish enough to disagree with him.

2842 cont'd

Roy Fokker's body discovered in a hentai bar in New Las Vegas.

Vivendi Multiversal releases Starsiege 2. Rapture occurs before anyone can play it.